Responses 3B
❧ Where and why does Carr make implicit use of McLuhan’s theory (that the media has a greater impact than the message)? ❧ Show how at least two of Carr’s historical references contribute to his point. ❧ Take one of Carr’s metaphors or historical references and apply it in a different context so as to make a similar, slightly different, or completely new point about the Internet. This response can be straight-forward or creative (for instance, you might have a scuba-diver or Nietzsche comment on Carr’s view of communication technology).
🏛Historical References 🏛 🏄🏽♀️ McLuhan 🏄🏽♀️ 🕰 Context 🕰
🏛 How at Least Two of Carr’s Historical References Contribute to His Point 🏛
Carr uses multiple historical references to illustrate his point that although new technologies bring with them a myriad of benefits, it is important to consider the negative, often subtler ways in which they change us. Carr discusses Nietzsche essentially trading some of his writing quality for the ability to write at all via the typewriter. Frederick Winslow Taylor's “system” was a similar trade-off of humanity for productivity. The illumination of the drawbacks of these important technologies leads the reader to consider the possible trade-offs implied by the growing power of the internet. (92 words)
*** This is a very good response, yet the opening and closing sentence could be more brief (or combine them into one sentence), which would give more room to be more specific about Nietzsche’s writing quality or Taylor’s similar tradeoff.
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Joseph Weizenbaum is referenced for his thoughts on how clocks changed the way individuals function as a whole, in particular the way we think. Like clocks, advancement in technology, specifically the internet have further evolved the human thought process. Carr also used Alan Turing’s ideas on how computers are just a tool where all the other tools are crammed into one. This correlates with his point that the computer is full of information, leading one to get distracted more easily than before computers when knowledge was discovered through books.
*** This response is well-structured, yet needs a topic sentence that brings together the two main ideas. Also, try to be more specific: how did the Net evolve the human thought process and why are books so different, given that they too are full of information?
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Carr references the story of Nietzsche to create pathos and ethos. Nietzsche’s backstory makes readers feel sympathy and appreciative of the typewriter enabling him to write again. Then, the tone changes to discouraging, as even an established philosopher like Nietzsche was influenced by using technology. Then, he jumps to a more modern reference, Weizenbaum’s argument about how the clock changed our conception of time. People became dependent on using the clock as a device to decide what time to do things, such as eating or sleeping. This adds to his logos and contributes to his point. (96 words)
*** This response is very good, yet try to use a topic sentence that ties everything together. Avoid stating what the strategies are (pathos and ethos) without including what the comparative effect of these strategies are. How are pathos and ethos related? Why does he jump? Is it a jump to the more modern? (The clock predates Nietzsche). The first and last sentences are too vague, but the the ideas in between are mostly clear and specific.
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Carr uses historical references to scare us into fearing the internet. The use of historical figures and events lend validity to his argument because we already think they are smarter than us. Carr shows us these figures set to do something great and then are polarized by an immediate consequence. Nietzsche’s typewriter improved his eyes while it altered his writing style, where Taylor’s 1911 treatise improved the efficiency of work but in turn created a dystopian feel, as “in the future the system must be first.” Be afraid be very afraid. (91 words)
*** The last sentence could use proofreading, yet this response provides a clear overall idea and illustrates it clearly.
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Carr highlights Friedrich Nietzsche’s experience with a typewriter, as well as humankind’s reliance on the clock, to substantiate his argument that technology, specifically the internet, negatively impacts natural intelligence. The automatic and effortless nature of the typewriter negatively impacted Nietzsche’s thought form and creativity, just as the internet has negatively impacted Carr’s ability to focus and think critically. Similarly, clocks create an automatic daily structure that eliminate the need for humans to listen to their natural instincts. In the same vein, the internet has allowed for quick access to information, eliminating the need for humans to think deeply.
*** This is a model response: it’s smoothly written, has a clear and specific topic sentence, and contains clear explanation and illustration.
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Carr begins his article with a historical anecdote that he references in both the introduction and conclusion of his piece. He cleverly applies this anecdote as a central reference in his argument where he describes the irony of modern humans exhibiting “robotic”, algorithmic and emotionless characteristics typically associated with “robots”, while contrasting those with the stereotypically “human” characteristics of the robot HAL. He further emphasises this irony in his concluding sentence where he poignantly declares our reliance on artificial intelligence in understanding the world is ultimately turning our own intelligence, artificial. Carr also uses an intriguing thought from the sociologist Daniel Bell who describes modern humans adopting the mental, seemingly robotic aspects of technology.
*** This response has many good ideas, although it’s a bit hard to see from the start which two historical references the student is going to analyze. I suggest putting the two references clearly in the topic sentence. Also, the film 2001 and the sociologist Daniel Bell are both fairly contemporary in terms of history. Still, this is a good response in terms of the ideas and in terms of the expression.
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Nicholas Carr has used the phenomenon of Friedrich Nietzsche’s writing change as a key example of how technology, no matter how adapted it is, can change the thought process of an individual. Nietzsche has been writing by hand his whole life until he was introduced to a type writer, and it was proven that the more comfortable he got with the device, the more his writing style has changed. The Internet today is causing the same effect as to what has happened to Nietzsche, individuals get comfortable using the keyboard and the thought process while writing has become more lazy, and it will continue to change while the internet and technology keeps adapting.
*** This response is well-written and shows a clear understanding of Carr’s use of Nietzsche. It does, however, only refer to one historical reference (the topic requires two). The response could also sum up Carr’s use of Nietzsche more quickly and then focus more specifically on how what happened to Nietzsche is happening when we use the Net. My concern arises here because Carr isn’t saying that Nietzsche got lazy. The distinction is important because laziness could quite easily lead to stupidity, the key warning behind Carr’s article. To improve this response, the student might have tried to answer these questions: Are we becoming more telegraphic? What would ‘telegraphic’ mean in the context of our use of the Net?
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Carr uses the metaphor of a clock to shine light on the disconnect we have with ourselves, and the dependency we have on our technological advancements such as the Internet. When Carr states, “In deciding when to eat, to work, to sleep, to rise, we stopped listening to our senses and started obeying the clock”, he is enforcing the sombre reality that as a society, we have stopped listening to our natural rhythm and alternatively allow technology to make our decisions. Instead of searching our minds for an answer, we now simply type a question and press enter.
*** This response is clear and well written, however it doesn’t give us much more than Carr does. Try to dig into the ideas and present an argument about them, rather than repeat them. Perhaps if the student had written about two historical references (which the assignment requires), it might have been easier to create some sort of pattern that would bear scrutiny and analysis.
🏄🏽♀️ Use of McLuhan’s Theory 🏄🏽♀️
Carr implicitly exemplified McLuhan’s theory through narrating personal examples using compare and contrast as it appeals to Carr’s argument and his own authority. Before Carr introduced McLuhan’s theory, he extensively narrated his personal examples in before and after using the Web. Carr lightly remarked some universal benefits of the Web yet turned his stance when he introduced McLuhan as a media theorist using ethos. Carr reiterated the reasonableness of his experiences as it aligns with McLuhan’s theory. Carr implicitly applied McLuhan’s theory into his personal experience with the Net, and provided a metaphorical conclusion, emphasizing the contrast in before and after using the Web. (104 words)
*** This response has a good fundamental point, and ties together different rhetorical strategies into the overall rhetorical pattern of using personal examples.
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What McLuhan says is that the media does not only inform us ,yet it also manipulates us and shapes our thoughts. Carr states McLuhan's theory ''media are not just passive channels of information. They supply the stuff of thought, but they also shape the process of thought.'' Carr agrees with McLuhan and he believes that media is the most effective tool to manipulate people in today's world as well as to shape the society. As media became an unavoidable part of our lives, they even began to gather private information from us, specifically social media such as Google, Instagram.
*** This response needs a better topic sentence and needs some proofreading (the parts in bold). It also tends to repeat Carr’s point. Finally, it could be more clear about how Carr’s use of McLuhan implies concerns about privacy.
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In “Is Google Making Us Stupid?” Carr describes the effect of the internet on our brains, as “the Net is becoming a universal medium”. Starting his article with a scene from 2001: A Space Odyssey, Carr shares the uncomfortable feeling with Hal as his brain is being ‘tinkered’ with. Carr heightens our curiosity by going from vague to increasingly clear in making his point, until he introduces McLuhan’s theory: “media shapes the process of thought”, thus teaching us how to behave. The example of The New York Times creating ‘shortcuts’ to spare readers from turning pages reveals a chilling future. (100 words)
*** This response has many good points, yet it needs unity, which should start in the topic sentence. The topic sentence here is an observation, and could be much stronger if it brought in the argument of the entire paragraph – especially the rhetorical strategy of timing, where Carr heightens our curiosity and then gives us the explanation.
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Carr introduces Marshall McLuhan’s theory as a final point in the third paragraph of his article; where [:] he introduces the “Net” as a “universal medium”, highlighting the flipside to having such powerful and gravely influencing means of information. McLuhan’s short yet incredibly profound statement “medium is the message”, gives light to the importance of awareness of where and how we intake information – as it affects the way we think about what is communicated. Carr uses McLuhan’s theory in order to underline his point, being that the internet influences our way of processing the information we read; possibly leading to continuously decreasing in-depth information absorption, understanding and critical thinking. (108 words)
*** This response is good, yet it tends to repeat the main point. Also, it could be within the word limit by omitting the words in bold.
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Carr's use of McLuhan’s theory is a prime example of dire metaphor drawing the connection of the human need for a quick fix of information. The extensive research conducted in the past allowed countless hours spent enhancing one's personal bank of knowledge just like a "scuba diver in the sea of words" in a search for answers. However, with the era of Google, came the dawn of the word treasures stored inside our brains. Knowledge so readily available at the end of your fingertips such as a jet ski "zip(ping) along the surface" became the focus point steering clear of details.
*** This response is a bit hard to evaluate, since I’m not entirely clear what the student intends. From what I can gather, the response has great potential: it appears to contain a nautical metaphor and conceit (in bold) that comes from Carr and yet also shapes our understanding of his rhetoric. Unfortunately, this metaphor isn’t introduced clearly in the topic sentence (although the dire metaphor may be related) and it comes in obliquely after this, which makes it difficult for the reader to appreciate.
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One historical reference made by Carr to support his point was the introduction of the printing press. It was hypothesized by an Italian humanist that “the easy availability of books would lead to intellectual laziness,” a point comparable with the intellectual laziness achieved from the wealth of easy information the internet provides. Carr claims that this hypothesis was proven true. Another highly supportive historical reference made by Carr was about Socrates bemoaning the development of the written word. He believed this may also lead to intellectual laziness due to the lack of necessity for knowledge retainment should we simply be able to record it, as the internet does.
*** This response could be better if it had a unifying topic sentence. Try to spend less time explaining what the reference is (which borders on observation) and more time explaining how this works out in terms of the application to the Net. I suggest tightening the exposition and expanding the rhetorical analysis. Also, the points seem quite explicit in Carr. Where are they implicit?
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In Carr’s fourth paragraph, his mention of Marshall McLuhan’s “The medium is the message theory” relates to Carr's point stating he is “not thinking the way [he] used to think”, as he should not. McLuhan's theory examines the reality of media presenting information on how they want it to be perceived. Carr’s point that he feels he has “an uncomfortable sense that someone, or something, has been tinkering with [his] brain” explains the theory that the form of a message decides the way it will be grasped, validating Carr’s feelings. Making this a valid theory of Carr’s argument.
*** This response has lots of potential, yet it’s weakened and obscured by the expression – especially the slightly ambiguous, unclear, or ungrammatical parts in bold.
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Carr uses McLuhan’s theory implicitly in paragraphs 5 and 6 immediately after citing McLauhan to apply the theory in a personal manner that will relate to the reader. Carr takes the out of date 1960’s theory and puts it into perspective in a modern way using people's personal experiences, so that the reader can introspect on their own difficulties involving how the internet affects their comprehension and learning. Even though the experiences are “anecdotal,” they stick with the reader, which Carr uses to deepen those worries by following up those experiences with paragraphs of studies and research. (97 words)
*** This response is well-written, clearly organized, and backed up with illustration.
🕰 A Metaphor or Historical Reference Applied in a Different Context 🕰
Response 1: Carr uses the metaphor of a clock to shine light on the disconnect we have with ourselves, and the dependency we have on our technological advancements such as the Internet. When Carr states, “In deciding when to eat, to work, to sleep, to rise, we stopped listening to our senses and started obeying the clock”, he is enforcing the sombre reality that as a society, we have stopped listening to our natural rhythm and alternatively allow technology to make our decisions. Instead of searching our minds for an answer, we now simply type a question and press enter.
Response 2: The mechanical clock metaphor presented by Carr can be used to relate how people use the internet as an ideal image of what success and health should be. His metaphor goes on to explain how we have stopped listening to our senses and obey the clock. The internet will present images of wealth, power, physical beauty and express it as if you do not fit these images, you are doing something wrong rendering the individual obedient to the internet. Changing the way our brains think and wiring it conform around the media that it presents.
*** These responses show the difference between a response which repeats the content (Response 1) and one which applies what Carr says to the Net — specifically to its seductive realm of wealth, power, and physical beauty, and to its potential to shame and control us (Response 2).
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In Nicholas Carr’s article Is Google Making Us Stupid? he writes, in response to Google’s glorification of artificial intelligence, that “Ambiguity is not an opening for insight but a bug to be fixed. The human brain is just an outdated computer that needs a faster processor and a bigger hard drive.” These consecutive metaphors are written almost mockingly of the Google founders’ shallow perception of human intelligence. The worship of artificial intelligence consequently demeans authentic human intelligence, as it promotes people to shamefully believe in Carr’s metaphoric idea that human intelligence contains a “bug” or requires a “bigger hard drive”. (100 words)
*** This response makes a good point, yet at the end it seems to suggest that Carr believes human intelligence requires a bigger hard drive. It’s just a matter of proofreading here, since at the start of the response the student clearly says that Carr is critiquing this type of thinking. Also, consecutive metaphors are better referred to here as extended metaphors (they are integrally linked, not just one after the other) or conceits.
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Nicholas Carr said “Google is the Internet’s high church, and the religion practiced inside its walls is Taylorism”. Throughout history religion has caused humans more harm than good. Distinction, hate, suffering and manipulation are just a few negative effects. Too much religion blinds the soul and conscience and modifies human behaviours to the extreme. Carr uses the religion-church symbol in a way implying that Google is the church that developed a system to attract the biggest congregation in the world. Google’s dogma is all the information that we receive as truth, without questioning. Religion’s underlying intentions is making us stupid.
*** This response has promise — especially the extremely important notion that information is often confused with truth. The response could benefit, however, from a more balanced tone. Academic discourse avoids general statements such as “Throughout history religion has caused humans more harm than good.” Some will believe this, but many won’t. In any case, it’s too big and contentious an assertion to back up in a small response. The student could fix this by leaving this out or by qualifying it, as in “Some people believe that …” In general, however, I suggest omitting this type of big generalization and sticking instead to the topic at hand: the way Carr uses religion as a symbol for the Internet. In this case, one ought to bring in Carr’s final positive use of the symbol of the cathedral. How does the positive cathedral metaphor affect his other negative use of religion? Finally, avoid using a quote or observation as a topic sentence. The first sentence should give your overall point or argument.
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In Carr’s article Is Google Making Us Stupid?, the historical reference to Socrates’ fear of developments in technology in the Phaedrus is ironic. Socrates feared that a vast amount of knowledge would perish as people grew reliant on penmanship, yet his knowledge mostly been derived from writing. We currently have developed much further, and the internet is available at any time. Every day obscene amounts of knowledge and information is discovered, but as fast as this occurs, the time for which we retain this is equal. Throughout history, greater access to knowledge has costed losing some. (96 words)
*** This response starts off very strong, yet the second half (starting “We currently”) is obvious, vague, and at times hard to understand. In general, the second half of any writing should be deeper than the first half: you should set up the context and argument in the first half and then dive more deeply into the argument in the second half.
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Carr’s use of Richard Foremans metaphor, “we risk turning into pancake people,” is a clear statement that the internet is wearing us out. The internet has endless branches that the reader can get sucked down. With the click of a button, we can have access to anyone we have ever met. Foreman believes that this is “draining us of our inner repertory of dense cultural inheritance.” These connections over the internet take away from one-on-one personal connections. The continuous stream of content is like a waterfall and it will keep flattening out the user until there is nothing left. (99)
*** This response is good, yet it could tie the ideas together more explicitly. The first part in bold goes from pancakes and wearing us out to being sucked down and accessing anyone. I see the logic, but it could be expressed in a way that highlights that logic – for example:
Carr’s use of Foreman’s pancake metaphor suggests flattening out, which occurs when the Net’s endless branches suck us into it and then its endless smaller branches connect us to everyone we have ever met (as well as to others we don’t even know). This dispersal of “our dense cultural heritage …”
The second part in bold needs some clarification, given that the Net obviously connects us more in some ways. Finally, while the response could have stuck with the metaphor (perhaps extending it: Who made the pancake? What’s in it? What about waffles? etc.) the student contrasts the metaphor with a different one – a waterfall. This is effective, since it makes you compare the meanings behind the different metaphors.